January 1, 2010
I took this photo lying in bed on the seventh day after I had the bypass surgery (Taken at May 21, 2007 at 6:15:16 a.m.). Every morning a night nurse came to my room at about six o’clock. I would ask the nurse what time it was. I thought that it was still too early to wake up but I could no longer sleep again after I had a blood sample taken. When she opened the curtain the light flooded the room. I could get in touch with the world with this computer. My physicians in charge encouraged me to write reports about the surgery and to publish them in my blog. Another doctor advised me to write books because they would live.  Following his advice I wrote many books after I left the hospital. He once said to me, “It is true that you have been saved but remember that what you have lost is great.” I thought what he said was true but on the other hand I could learn much from the experience of the disease. The medical appliance on the right is for practicing deep breathing. I could not breath well because of intense pain in the chest. It seems to me a miracle that I could survive.

I took this photo lying in bed on the seventh day after I had the bypass surgery (Taken at May 21, 2007 at 6:15:16 a.m.).

Every morning a night nurse came to my room at about six o’clock. I would ask the nurse what time it was. I thought that it was still too early to wake up but I could no longer sleep again after I had a blood sample taken. When she opened the curtain the light flooded the room. I could get in touch with the world with this computer.

My physicians in charge encouraged me to write reports about the surgery and to publish them in my blog.

Another doctor advised me to write books because they would live.  Following his advice I wrote many books after I left the hospital. He once said to me, “It is true that you have been saved but remember that what you have lost is great.” I thought what he said was true but on the other hand I could learn much from the experience of the disease.

The medical appliance on the right is for practicing deep breathing. I could not breath well because of intense pain in the chest.

It seems to me a miracle that I could survive.

10:11pm  |   URL: http://kishimi.tumblr.com/post/311211696/i-took-this-photo-lying-in-bed-on-the-seventh-day
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November 12, 2009
Another flower of hisbiscus bloomed the day before yersterday. Felt like seeing all the time it was blooming. It is windy and cold here in Kyoto today. Taken with my iPhone.

Another flower of hisbiscus bloomed the day before yersterday. Felt like seeing all the time it was blooming. It is windy and cold here in Kyoto today. Taken with my iPhone.

10:52am  |   URL: http://kishimi.tumblr.com/post/240929816/another-flower-of-hisbiscus-bloomed-the-day-before
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Finally fahter had his hair cut. I asked the barber to come to his house because he can no longer go to the barber. Staighting himself out he looked serious and a little nervous.

Finally fahter had his hair cut. I asked the barber to come to his house because he can no longer go to the barber. Staighting himself out he looked serious and a little nervous.

10:12am  |   URL: http://kishimi.tumblr.com/post/240887830/finally-fahter-had-his-hair-cut-i-asked-the
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November 10, 2009
I can see the Toji temple on Wednesdays when the train is about to reach Kyoto station on my way home from the university in Himeji. Senior hight I attended for three years when I was young was (and is) situated in precincts of this temple. We were taught to be like Buddhist monks to concentrate on studying. Looking back at my school days I can remember pleasant memories except the encounter with the teacher who advised me to learn Greek philosophy. It was he who first taught me ancinet Greek. I was 17 years old. It is not too much to say that I owe what I am today to this teacher. I always see the temple with mixed feelings.

I can see the Toji temple on Wednesdays when the train is about to reach Kyoto station on my way home from the university in Himeji. Senior hight I attended for three years when I was young was (and is) situated in precincts of this temple. We were taught to be like Buddhist monks to concentrate on studying. Looking back at my school days I can remember pleasant memories except the encounter with the teacher who advised me to learn Greek philosophy. It was he who first taught me ancinet Greek. I was 17 years old. It is not too much to say that I owe what I am today to this teacher. I always see the temple with mixed feelings.

12:43pm  |   URL: http://kishimi.tumblr.com/post/238741727/i-can-see-the-toji-temple-on-wednesdays-when-the
November 1, 2009

Though future is not present

On the other hand my father often thinks of future, which makes him anxious. Asked about how he was by nurses who take care of him he never fails to complain of a chest pain he feels at dawn. Then he asks me what and how he should do if something urgent occurs to him when is alone at night. Honestly speaking I myself do not know what I can do because my experience of cardiac infarction taught me that even waking the family living together was difficult once the intense pain began. Anyway what I want to say is that the patient who suffers from dementia cannot be free from the anxiety which belongs essentially to future.

2:27pm  |   URL: http://kishimi.tumblr.com/post/229485735/though-future-is-not-present

Freely in space and time

It is often said that the patient who suffers from dementia lives in the world of ‘here and now.’ As far as my father is concerned this is not necessarily true. One mornig my father surprised me by saying abruptly that he would go to a barber to have his hair cut. It seemed that he had forgotten that he could not walk without the help of others. I should not have stopped him then but I coujld not help asking him how he would go. ‘Not so far. Walk.’ He answered flatly. He must have been living . He was in the past when he could do anything though come to think of it I am moving freely to and fro in space and time while I am thinking. The difference is that I can come to this real world while he cannot be back easily.

1:25pm  |   URL: http://kishimi.tumblr.com/post/229446203/freely-in-space-and-time
October 15, 2009

I am pointing at the heavens like Plato in Raphael’s The School of Athens. At the seminar for stammers held on October 10, 11, 12. I gave lectures for 15 hours in total.

4:46pm  |   URL: http://kishimi.tumblr.com/post/213600031/i-am-pointing-at-the-heavens-like-plato-in
September 25, 2009
My father asked me abruptly if it was raining outside. To be sure it was about to rain. Then he said to me, ‘Go home quickly. Be careful. I will lie down and rest.’ I was very surprised because he had long lived in the world where no one else besides himself live. He had no ‘others.’ I was no exception. It seemed that he had no emotion. He never found it strange that I was always with him in the daytime. It is said that Alzheimer’s disease is incurable. Nevertheless if a cure were possible it is not by regaining his memory he had lost but by being able to recognize others, which may be difficult but not necessarily impossible. Anyway even if his disease is incurable one thing is certain: I will take care of him as long as he lives. My father will be my father whatever happens.

My father asked me abruptly if it was raining outside. To be sure it was about to rain. Then he said to me, ‘Go home quickly. Be careful. I will lie down and rest.’ I was very surprised because he had long lived in the world where no one else besides himself live. He had no ‘others.’ I was no exception. It seemed that he had no emotion. He never found it strange that I was always with him in the daytime. It is said that Alzheimer’s disease is incurable. Nevertheless if a cure were possible it is not by regaining his memory he had lost but by being able to recognize others, which may be difficult but not necessarily impossible. Anyway even if his disease is incurable one thing is certain: I will take care of him as long as he lives. My father will be my father whatever happens.

11:25pm  |   URL: http://kishimi.tumblr.com/post/196633674/my-father-asked-me-abruptly-if-it-was-raining
September 3, 2009

A Song for you

We went on walking for a long time hearing the song of a river. On our head were singing cicadas, messengers of the Muses.

‘I have a song for you here. ‘

I handed her an earphone of my iPhone. I tried not to miss any change in her expression. I heared the tune which could not be heard.

‘You were beautiful yesterday…the day before yesterday too…and on the day when we met for the first time. But you, whom I now look at, are most beautiful.’

A trace of color appeared in her cheeks.

*From Hikari (THE BOOM)

11:27pm  |   URL: http://kishimi.tumblr.com/post/178810207/a-song-for-you
When I was walking along the road by Shirakawa river in Kyoto many years ago I found this monument, which was inscribed with a tanka (poem) by Kitaro Nishida, a philosopher. He was a professor at Kyoto University. He made it a rule to walk around here.  His favorite road is now called ‘phiosopher’s walk’ (tetsugaku no michi) . The poem reads, 人は人吾は吾なりとにかくに吾行く道を吾は行くなり Others are others. I am I. Anyway I will go on my own way.

When I was walking along the road by Shirakawa river in Kyoto many years ago I found this monument, which was inscribed with a tanka (poem) by Kitaro Nishida, a philosopher. He was a professor at Kyoto University. He made it a rule to walk around here.  His favorite road is now called ‘phiosopher’s walk’ (tetsugaku no michi) . The poem reads,

人は人吾は吾なりとにかくに吾行く道を吾は行くなり

Others are others. I am I. Anyway I will go on my own way.

3:02pm  |   URL: http://kishimi.tumblr.com/post/178589056/when-i-was-walking-along-the-road-by-shirakawa